My Witness of Faith

The call

What made a nominal Catholic change into a committed follower of Christ? My children. Having to educate my children in the Christian faith made me learn and reflect on what it really means to follow Jesus, so I could teach it to them. And, the more I learned, the more I understood it, until I fell in love with the man who died for us.

Why do we suffer? 

The problem of human suffering had been a stumbling block for me in the past: if God is merciful, why do we suffer? But Jesus was now telling me that God does not allow suffering: It is us who keep choosing this path of separation from God, not Him. However, we are still free to choose Him, and turn away from this broken world of our own making. God provides us with the way back to Himself through the sacrifice on the cross. God becomes human like us, and suffers for us, in order for us to be redeemed. That's how important we are to Him. For that reason, I love God.

Saying yes to God

But God has been calling us into a relationship with him for millennia as it is revealed in Scripture. Studying the Bible made me appreciate this invitation of love and how to respond to it: love God above all things, and love thy neighbour. Once I had accepted this invitation, our relationship grew in depth and intensity.

Living in the presence of God

So what does this relationship look like in everyday life? Prayer becomes more meaningful. It is not just repeating words but a conversation with God. Studying the prayers, what each verse really means, the deep theological significance for us in our relationship with God, turns the prayer into a portal through which I enter the divine. At the same time, I let the divine enter each cell of my body, every single space of my heart and mind. I am letting God guide my life towards Him and away from what is wrong. I have changed to the point that I don't recognise myself! Why was I so patient with this person? I don't usually act like this! I surprise myself because I have changed for the better: I am slowly becoming my teacher, Christ, which is exactly the point of doing the Gospel life.

Knowing that God is near gives me courage and it makes me go even deeper into this relationship. What I seek is to live in the presence of God. This is done through prayer, by turning my inner dialogue into a conversation with God, by living in a state of thanksgiving, and by dedicating every single daily action and event to God. In practical terms, it means to ask Him, “Jesus, what would You do or say in this situation?” And try to act that way. Every life event, however mundane, is an opportunity to spend time with Christ if we offer it to Him. I try to hold this presence of God for the whole day, but there are many distractions! That's why I always ask for the power of the Holy Spirit to stay focused. “Come, Holy Spirit,” I say, or “give us this day our daily bread”. 

Does this mean that God removes all obstacles in my way? Of course not! We have chosen this path away from God collectively, and He is not protecting me directly from the results of our own choice: accidents and disease, losing loved ones, making mistakes; but my suffering is not meaningless, it is a suffering that God himself takes on, he offers himself as the ultimate sacrifice, he is human in Jesus Christ and, therefore, he understands us. God offers us a loving embrace in our pain by suffering with us and by promising us eternal life with Him. Our chosen fallenness has a final solution in the cross.

Scary moments

There are moments of deep peace. They don't last long, but they linger like a warm summer evening. They are not like the relaxation that I feel after running or swimming; they are not like the rest I feel after a good sleep, or the calm after meditation. I know that this is different. This is a supernatural peace; as if God was tapping me on the shoulder saying “I am here, fear not”. But it is scary, like looking over a cliff: the beautiful view fills me with awe, but I'm overcome by vertigo at the same time. 

The evil one is at the door

In moments of distraction the evil one sneaks in and makes me fall. So it is important for me to live in the presence of God and never let go of Him. I say to Him, “please hold my hand and walk with me”, or “get into my boat and tell me what to do”, or “thy will be done, not mine”. If I'm struggling with something, like impatience, lack of compassion, or indecision, I say “please, show me the way!” And he always does. 

So deep

I sometimes catch myself spontaneously saying things like “I love you!” or “You're wonderful!” to Him. I surprise myself when this happens and I realise that I am indeed in the presence of the Lord.

There is much more to my religious experience, of course, such as fasting, meditation, and participating in the life of the Catholic Church as well as my Franciscan fraternity, but this is it in a nutshell. Perhaps I should add that serving others is a big part of this “living in the presence of the Lord”, as everyone is a child of God and God dwells in them. Looking at creation through the divine lens makes one consider other humans as divine, so I am serving God when I'm serving them.

This is how I live my life in Christ; He is my strength. God bless you!

Via, veritas, vita.